if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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