So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
