im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
