Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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