I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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