You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
