sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
