Porn is love you can see.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
