Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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