Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
