I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I stole a fireplace last night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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