He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
