So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
