We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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