Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
