Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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