Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
