sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
