hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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