I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
