I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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