Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Send help, water and tortillas.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
