The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize