last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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