I CAN MOONWALK!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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