Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
