so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
