If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
