I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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