Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
