how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize