so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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