So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
40s are totally the cure
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
