What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
