Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
