Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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