i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
