I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
