I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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