you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
