I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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