You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish i was in the wii world.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
