i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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