I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
