when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
