I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
