I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
