? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
