fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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