You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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