fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
