She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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