I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
