I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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