Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
