Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
